Welcome to a site created by an individual who has has creative notions that linger on the doorstep of insanity…..freak on through the crazy meanderings located within this inferno of imagination and try to make some sense of things (and your life)…

THE MATERIAL FOUND HEREIN MAY INCITE THE FOLLOWING REACTIONS:  immediate hysteria, pissing yourself uncontrollably, vomiting, multiple orgasms. IT MAY ALSO RESULT IN THE FOLLOWING SITUATIONS:  desire to sleep with the creator of this site (although he is a self-proclaimed asexual, or so I hear, but sometimes i hear things that don’t make noise, like my thoughts), ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound, playing Stratego with individuals who do not speak your native tongue, anger, frustration, boredom, insomnia, perpetual laziness, inflictions of small wounds to the souls of others, marrying a born-again Christian, moving to Salt Lake City, writing primarily in lower case letters, pretending to be someone you’re not, mispeling words and other primarily unimportant grammatical errors, and the possibility of going on a two-day binge that ends up lasting 20 years and you finally sober up and realize that you now have 2 illegitimate children with a married Danish housewife who is unaware of your whereabouts, you’re paying mortgages on two houses that you don’t even live at anymore, and you only have twenty seven cents to your name, and somehow the only articles of clothing that you still own are the thong that you have on, and four black and white checkered berets. and you think to yourself, “where did i go wrong”  and then you remember skipping a CAUTION sign on a website…IF YOU SUFFER FROM ANY OF THE ABOVE PLEASE CONSULT THE CREATOR OF THIS SITE…IF HOWEVER, YOU DO NOT TRUST HIM TO REMEDY YOUR PROBLEM, THEN YOU MAY WANT TO CONSULT SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY MIGHT HELP…like the Police (not Sting’s old band) or fire department in your area, a local hospital, your primary care physician, your mom, Bob Barker, or a friend.

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